You Are Allowed to Keep Telling: Help Your Child Build a Safety Team

One thing I wish every child knew before they ever needed it:

You are allowed to keep telling.

If someone is repeatedly hurting you, humiliating you, excluding you, threatening you, or making you afraid to go to school—and the first grown-up doesn’t really hear you—tell another one.

Getting help isn’t tattling.

You don’t have to prove you’re “tough enough” to handle something that’s hurting you. Your voice matters. And you deserve grown-ups who listen.

Why every child needs a safety team

When a child is scared, embarrassed, or worried about getting someone in trouble, it can be hard to decide who to tell. Identifying trusted grown-ups before a problem happens gives kids a plan they can use when their brain is overwhelmed.

A child’s five trusted adults might include:

• A parent, guardian, or caregiver

• A teacher or classroom aide

• A school counselor, social worker, or principal

• A school nurse

• A coach, relative, neighbor, or another adult the family knows and trusts

The goal isn’t to make one perfect list. It’s to make sure a child knows there is more than one person they can go to.

How to build your child’s safety team

Sit down together and ask: “Which grown-ups make you feel heard, safe, and helped?”

Write down five names and talk about where your child can find each person. Then practice one simple sentence:

“I need help. This keeps happening, and I don’t feel safe.”

Most importantly, give them a Plan B: if the first grown-up is distracted, dismisses the problem, or doesn’t understand how serious it is, go to the next person. Keep telling until someone helps.

Reporting vs. tattling

Tattling tries to get someone in trouble over a small problem that can usually be handled safely.

Reporting asks for help because someone is being hurt, threatened, repeatedly humiliated or excluded, or made to feel unsafe.

Children should never be shamed for reporting something that is hurting them.

Free help for families

The free Brave Heart Toolkit helps children know what to do, who to tell, and how to build their own team of trusted grown-ups. Download it here:

https://www.auntnut.com/free/brave-heart-toolkit

For children who need a gentle story about speaking up, asking for help, and understanding that mean treatment is not their fault, When Mean Words Won’t Stop offers a deeper resource for families and classrooms.

Parents, teachers, and nurses: Who were the safe grown-ups you could go to when you were a kid? 💜